sunday "Money quote"

Ok.. what I'm gonna do is post my favorite (favourite) money quotes from my life.. but generally from FSJ and here we go.. this list might be short.. but I'll work on a better one for next week


FSJ on vista: "Startup took five minutes from the time he produced the laptop from his briefcase. Felt like five hours."

Lindsay's FSJ money quote: "Imagine my sexy breath on your neck, my lips next to your ears, saying, Boom. Eighty gigabytes. That's right. All eighty. Boom."

The nerds were like, "Yeah, but Jobso, who cares, it's just going to developers, the code all works fine and those guys don't care if it looks pretty."

And I'm getting involved too with weekly code reviews. Not that I can read code, because I can't. But I know how code should look on a screen. Which frankly I think is way more important. Don't tell that to the nerds though.

FSJ on France selling unlocked iphones: "You know what? I hate the French. I really do. Always have. Almost as much as I hate Scandinavians. And the media. They're number one. But the French are right up there, believe me. Sneaky pricks."

"New survey shows most Americans want a computer for Christmas. Guess who's going to have a sweet new operating system dropping on Oct. 26, generating a whole fresh new round of rave reviews from the likes of Goatberg and Smurfy Pogue?"

FSJ on college students downloading music: "Kids, BTW, FWIW, we don't give a shit what the law says and neither should you. You stole our idea. If we want to fuck you up, we will fuck you up. Plain and simple. If we want to make your life a living hell, we can and we will. If we tell you to take down the posters and paint your asses red and jump around like baboons and send us a videotape of yourselves doing it, you'll do it. Got it? Good. Now don't you have a paper due? Get back to work. And stop stealing music."

FSJ on Doug Morris: "
As I told BusinessWeek: "Doug's a very special guy. He's the last of the great music executives who came up through A&R. He's old school. I like him a lot."

Inside joke: At Apple when we say someone is "special" we mean as in "special education." As in, "rides the short bus." When we say "old school" we mean "likely has Alzheimer's." When we say "I like him a lot," it means we can't wait to rip out his heart and eat it in front of him."

FSJ on employees cashing in the $100 rebate on iphones they got for free: "But we're management. We can do stuff like that. Clerktards cannot. It's right there in the employment contract that retail people sign when they join the company. We have a signed copy for every employee, along with their blood sample, retina scans, home phone logs, dating history, medical records and data from the chip we've implanted in their necks... Guess what? You're iFired, you iAssholes."

FSJ on business school: "My theory is that education in general only serves to clog your creativity and shut down your brain. I imagine the brain is like this giant honeycomb, with all these open cells, but every class you take just fills some of those holes and seals them shut. Getting an MBA is like going back and double-sealing those doors with cement."


alright, that's all I have for now, it's kinda just funny stuff I read today, I'll have a MUCH better list next week. till then..